Why am I writing this?
I have seen many people getting confused between ego and self-respect. What they are calling self-respect is actually ego. And when you tell them, they don’t listen, and they try to stay stick by their point, they start defending themselves and then begins an argument.
This thing happened last night when I met my good friend after a long time. I wouldn’t mention his name so let’s call him Mr. _ here. So he came to meet me at 10.30 p.m, and then he needed a hotspot, he had some work to be finished. After that, at 11.00 p.m we started talking. He told me that, he is planning to sell his mobile phone. Which he purchased on EMI, and it’s just been 3 months he is using that phone, so 5 EMI’s are still to paid. He said after selling his phone, he would buy an asset So he would get an extra income source. I said, Yeah, It’s a good plan. Then he told me that all his friend said you’re going into a loss if you sell your phone, and I replied, Yes, you are. Then he asked, how?
The beginning of the argument
Let’s be more clear, I know this is complicated. The phone is worth ₹ 26000. ( he is selling it for ₹ 16000.) And he pays EMI of ₹ 3500 every month. And the asset he is planning to buy is for ₹ 13000. And after almost 30 minutes he told me that he wanted ₹ 13000 into the hand. And that’s why he bought a phone, So he can sell it and get the cash into his hand. So, I said, you could have asked a friend for the money, and it is a simple process. So, He replied, No, I don’t want to spread my hands to anyone and ask for help. He literally used a word, “beg.” Like, why should I beg? And I said, Man, that’s EGO. And he replied, No, It’s Self-Respect. And here begins the argument.
I personally never argue with anyone. I just never-ever, I literally don’t like that shit. But I had to because Mr. _ is my good friend. I can’t let him go and do the things the wrong way. And then I explained him everything about where he is going into the loss where he is gonna make a profit.
We had a long argument on ego and self-respect, and finally, he agreed that what he was calling Self-Respect was actually Ego. He didn’t express that, but deep inside he was totally understanding.
Look, guys, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re asking for help, it doesn’t mean you’re losing your self-respect. And EGO is a fucking stupid thing I’ve ever seen. If there is a thing which is holding you back or making you take a longer, and riskier process like Mr. _ then probably you’re convincing yourself the wrong way. See, whatever you tell to yourself is going to be a belief. A belief is good. But it should be a true belief. You’re believing in wrong planning, you’re taking a wrong way. That’s why you need to analyze your plan first.
Saying things with an attitude like why should I beg? Why should I talk first? Why should I ask for help? I am able to do everything on my own, and I don’t need anybody’s help, these things are going to douse you because these are so-called Ego. Ego is a thing which will always hold you back, which will never let you win, and things will never go according to the way you want them to.
Self-Respect is about knowing your worth. It’s about being independent. It’s about keeping your words. For example, you need money to buy an asset which will give you money in the long run. Okay, So you ask a friend for money and promise him that you’ll return it after 3 months, then you buy the asset and when it pays off. You give the money back to the friend after 3 months. This is how you kept your words. Are you getting me? Don’t be confused, You asked for money when you needed it. back then you weren’t independent, you became independent after your asset became an income source for you. So, if you need help, then go ask for it.
What I mean by knowing your worth?
You should know your value. What you deserve. For example, let’s say you’re in a relationship and your partner is not loyal to you, he or she is hiding things from you and even cheating. And on another side, You are loyal, honest and committed. So at this stage, it’s clear that you deserve someone just like you. Who will love you, will be loyal and honest with you. You know that you deserve better. This is what I mean by knowing your worth.
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You would also like to read: How to have positive thinking.